Dangerous couch

This is a sofa. Or what`s left of it.
It`s standing out in the hall. In a twisted way. With a deadly grin. As a punishment for what it did.

It all happened some weeks ago.
I was sitting on a seminar listening to a lecture about Finnish imigration language, when there was a message on my phone.

It said;
"Hey, there. Seems like I`ve broken a rib. And I can`t talk. Can you please call a doctor for me?"

What happened was that my neigbour and friend had been sleeping on the couch. It`s an old one, and during the sleep, the couch broke into two.
My friend landed on the floor on top of the pillows. It wasnt much of a fall. So he wandered around.
But after an hour, he suddenly felt an horrible pain, falling down, without being able to speak.
On top of all this his door was locked. So I had to alarm the ambulance, the police and the firearms, to break through the door.

My friend is always such a modest and kind guy. Therefore he always sends these polite messages, like "hey, there", and "well, well. Seems like something happened here". No matter how dramatic the situation is.
His son has by the way another perspective about this. He told in the kindergarden that
-my daddy has lost a bone in his heart!

But now he feels the anger. And when he is all healthy again, he will find his chainsaw. And completely slash the corpse of the sofa.